Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

September 28, 2012 (It’s. Drink. Beer. Day! You have a holiday’s permission to have a great weekend.)

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Dear macho man going for a run in the rain, when you come to the front desk, turn off your iPod. I hear your TSwift plain as day. (busted dude…)
  • I’m REALLY high, & my mom came back from the dentist & her mouth was numb so she talked sloppy. My laugh x10 DEAR LORD. Cx
  • The one day I come home for lunch..and the dog throws up, and then eats it back up. I don’t want to live here anymore. #timetomoveout (I don’t think that’s an overreaction at all…)
  • They designed the iPhone 5 to fit perfectly in your pocket. Right where your money used to be. (Oooh burrrrn.)
  • bummed to realize my ipod is dead as i arrive at the gym. BUT universe threw me a bone: burly man doing 30 mins of dead lifts. in HOT PANTS. (Hooray for small victories?)
  • Please go see #Lawless so they continue to make movies like it. Also, take birth control or you will be pregnant w/ Tom Hardy’s babies after (Maybe they should sell protection at the door)
  • A hairy window broke a silly pineapple with a blue fridge and everyday a grape licks a friendly cow. (You figure it out…)
  • She had wrinkles in her pleated skirt.. that’s IRONic (wah wah waaaaaah)
  • Mom Trying to have the straight talk with me in the car ride… To the Mall. TO GO SHOPPING (Kind of seems to defeat the purpose, either way)
  • @xxxxxxxx: “I’m going to a wedding Saturday. Do I need a haircut?” @xxxxxxxxx: “Did you just ask if you needed a handpuppet? Yes!” (Who doesn’t need a handpuppet at a wedding? Obviously.)
  • Headed to an AYCE Brazilian steakhouse tonight. Couldn’t be more excited. Bring on the #brotein! (Please, no one brand the term Brotein. Please.)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

September 14, 2012 (Also, National Creme-filled Donut Day. Go ahead. It’s official.)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • Sorry, but your baby’s “unique” name sounds like a treatment for Erectile Disfunction. (Well that’s an unfortunate choice)
  • What my night consists of babysitting Chinese food and tumblr.. (Punctuation is important, folks)
  • If this week-long dizziness and headache thing kills me, I just want you all to know… …I only like about six of you guys. (#deathbedtruths)
  • You know that Lucas changed the ending for this re-release. Turns out Luke is actually Indy’s father. (OH the plot twists!!)
  • This is my fav part ” the cat sat unplug the ringer for the father and plug the phone and so the Anaconda Didn’t work” (Aaaand my brain just fell off)
  • I don’t get jealous if I see my ex with someone else. Because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate. (oooh, burn.)
  • there were 4 guys in the back seat of my car and they all had boners hahaha (…cue porn music?)
  • Chuckin up the deuces to my long huuuurrrr #haircut (I understand the words on Twitter less and less with each passing day)
  • Hi fella. Late reply. I don’t tweeter much because of violent sneezing that hemorrhages blood from my swimsuit area when I type. (I just…don’t even know where to begin)
  • It smells like used birth control pills in this bathroom (I’m not even…what?)
There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

3 Tips for Doing Twitter Outreach Without Being a Creep

By now you’ve probably heard that social media does not follow the Field of Dreams mantra: “If you build it, they will come.” (I know, for all you die hard Field of Dreams fans, that’s not the factually accurate quote. But that’s what it has become in pop culture so bear with me.) Simply setting up your social media profiles and waiting for people to come swarming to them will just not happen. You have to give them a reason to come to your page. You have to seek them out by knowing your business, knowing your customers, and knowing your community. One great way to seek out potential customers is by doing Twitter outreach. I’m not going to go through the use of Twitter’s search features here. Those articles have already been written by much more knowledgeable bloggers to varying degrees. I did recently write a guest post for Main Street Hub, a social media management company that focuses on local businesses, in which I discuss three tips for doing Twitter outreach without coming across as a creep or spambot. Twitter is fraught with both, so differentiating yourself from them is critical. You can read the post here:

What are your thoughts on Twitter outreach? Have you been reached out to or poached successfully? What did the person do that worked, or didn’t? Do you have any more tips to add? Let me know below with your comments. Thanks for reading. Now go get your social on! Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.

Found Tweet Friday


Found Tweet Friday!

September 7, 2012 (Salami Day and National Beer Lover’s Day – Prost!)

Welcome to the Redlight District of Twitter

I spend a good part of my day using Twitter to find potential customers for my clients. I use the Twitter search function and locate people talking about relevant things that could translate to needs my clients’ products or services could fulfill. During this digging through the nonsense, the marketing messages, the slang and abbreviated hashtags, I find some pretty ridiculous tweets. Many that make my jaw drop. It never ceases to amaze me how many people forget that their tweets are completely public while they treat their Twitter conversations as if they were private. Some of those are simply too offensive or gross (not to mention misogynistic and lewd) for me to bother posting, but below are a collection of this week’s gems that I just had to share. My occasional commentary will be the parenthetical portions. Enjoy!

****Warning: Some content may be inappropriate for young or easily offended readers****

Found tweets:

  • “Gingeritus” isn’t a disease. I hope you meant “Gingivitus” in which you should visit a dentist . (Good advice, for spelling and for dental hygiene…)
  • Time to poop and brush my teeth. why isn’t there a tooth brush emoji? (That’s the least of my questions…)
  • Have a legit idea of how to make my dream of Steven’s Hard Beer. How do you turn inventions into reality? #GetHardBeforeYouGoHard (Quite a slogan, Steve…)
  • Its ugly out anyways….ima jus go 2 da grocery store cop hella zoom zooms & wam wams & make it a cinema weekend (It’s he’s speaking a foreign language…)
  • Your face gave my cat cancer… (Wow, that cuts deep. Real deep.)
  • Lmao I forgot how acclimated I am to the shitty texas weather until I’m with someone not used to sweltering in satan’s ballsac (A rather accurate description of the weather at times here in Texas)
  • How come I have to pick up after my dog when I’m hiking, but I have to hike around horse poo? #itsenormous (You can’t argue that he has a valid point…)
  • I need to clean up my diet do badly because I want healthy daily poop #mymotivation (I mean, you have to find motivation somewhere. Why is there so much about poop this week?)
  • @snooki it’s not really a fam since ur not married. (So…that’s your definition of family, huh?)
  • my boyfriend named his new car after a Downton Abbey character so don’t you dare say he’s not a renaissance man. (Gents, guess that makes you a keeper.)
  • My brother was in a horrible car accident on his way to pick up lunch today. It’s really bad guys, I need your prayers. I’m SOOO hungry! (Twitter A.D.D. much?)
  • Imma need to learn Spanish. My skin colour and the size of my behind demand it in these parts. #merica
  • Just saw a movie trailer where Clint Eastwood kicks over a coffee table…maybe he thought it was Joe Biden. (Yeah, sorry Republicans, this made me literally laugh out loud. Like in the real sense, not the “lol” sense.)

There you are folks! Obviously, some weeks will be less interesting than others, but I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you ever see any great tweets worth pointing out, send them to me at robzaleski1@gmail.com and they might make the list!

Now go get your social on!

Follow this blog on Google Currents! Download the app in your app store or marketplace and click here to subscribe.